Rod Tidwell, is that you?

"I'm not coming," Devin Hester said on the other end of a phone.

Paging Jerry Maguire.

After contract extensions to Bears mainstays Tommie Harris, Robbie Gould, Alex Brown, Desmond Clark, and most recently, Brian Urlacher, Hester believes he deserves his share too.

With spectacular returns, fleet feet, and the big-money swagger of a Hurricane, Hester brings an element to a regimented Bears scoring attack unlike any other player with a GSH emblazoned on his jersey sleeve. 

I'm usually one to disagree with a player over contract negotiations, especially last-minute calls on the eve of Training Camp. However, Hester makes a convincing case for himself. Next year he is due $445,000 in the third year of his rookie contract, roughly the equivalent of "cats" drafted in the sixth or seventh round who have not laced their cleats yet, according to Hester. (He is also due to lose $15,000 a day in fines for missing the Bears' mandatory practices  - he better move as quickly at the negotiation table as he does on the turf.)

Hester has twelve, yes, a dozen, returns for touchdowns in only two seasons - numbers no other NFL player in history has amassed in such a nascent career. He controls the game plan of defensive coordinators and special teams coaches by forcing them to kick away from Hester, giving the Bears optimal field position on almost every possession. He also electrifies the Soldier Field faithful every time he shakes his hips and dreadlocks before every punt or kickoff. Heck, he even holds the record for being the only player ever in the Madden NFL video game series to earn a perfect 100 speed rating.

If this were a MasterCard commercial, the tag line would be, "Devin Hester's impact on the Bears: priceless." 

In today's dollar-first NFL, unfortunately, success comes with high-valued price tags. As much of a prima donna Hester may seem to be, he is severely underpaid in relation to his value to the team. He may not deserve top billing (like a similarly sized Steve Smith, making over 10 million next season), but he is indeed worth more than $445K. 

Hester said Lovie Smith called him today and said the team does not have the same feel without his presence. That makes a lot of sense considering his deep-threat potential and speed to bolster a hit-or-miss (miss) WR corps, not to mention his record-setting returns.  

The precedent has been set in paying the cornerstones of the franchise. Hester has proved to be the future face of the franchise, and if the Bears want him to stick around, they best show him the money. No more pussyfooting. This is serious business. Without Hester, the Bears may just average nine points a game, maybe 11 if you throw in a safety here and a defensive touchdown there. 

It is really simple math: Hester = points. QED.

The number 23 has always been respected in Chicago. Let's keep to it. Take his word for it, Mr. Angelo; his words that say, "Pay me like I'm one of a kind."

My First Time...

Well, it finally happened: I became a member of the media. Not only did I have a parking spot in the Media Lot at Allstate Arena for Game Five of the AHL's West Division Finals, but I also had a press pass with my very own name on it. How about them apples?

After getting to the game far too early, I wandered the eerily empty halls of the arena to soak in my first engagement. Overlooking the fresh ice, a song came over the P.A. system that caught my attention. I think someone forgot to check which version of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" to play (Just think about the version by The Dan Band in the movie, "Old School"). A pretty hilarious start to the evening.

After about twenty minutes of aimless wandering, my cohort, Tamra, and I decided to get to the media room for the pre-game meal. As Adam Rogowin, Director of Media Relations for the Wolves, told me earlier in the week, "You might as well be treated like a member of the press." We collected the media kit, the media guide, the game notes, and the team statistics which were to offer us a complete breakdown of the season, the series, and both teams. After downing some salad, rice pilaf, and some chicken cordon bleu, it was time to head off to the press box. Although there wasn't room for the two of us due to the heavy load of media members already scheduled to be in the box, we found some seats in a quiet corner of the arena to focus on the action.

The game itself was pretty lopsided as the visiting Rockford IceHogs beat the Wolves 5-1 to take a 3-2 series advantage. After the game was over, we had about ten minutes before the Wolves coach, John Anderson, was to address the media. We gathered the final game notes from the press box and headed down to the locker room area. Before the game, we were instructed to "walk with authority" when passing security as the two of us did not look like the grizzled hockey reporters that were accustomed to frequent the locker room area. Anderson popped his head out of the locker room for a quick five-minute Q&A with the media, myself included. I simply stuck my digital voice recorder out to get whatever quotes I could from the soft-spoken, dejected coach. (My favorite: "I guess that's the bottom line. We'll be golfing soon. We know there's urgency and we don't have any more time to waste." Fore!)

Overall, the evening was a success. Even though we were not technically on deadline, just to see what it takes to be a member of the media and feel as if we were part of the machine was pretty incredible. What I will take away from this event is that no matter the scale of importance of the game, someone wants to know what happened and why it happened. The fans are relentless at any level of the sports pecking order, and there will always be a story to tell. 

NOTE: Mine will be available shortly once the final edits are made. 

 Please know that I know this will not be my last foray into the wide world of sports media. 

Walk the Walk

Athletes are to be judged by the words of the press; that is no secret. It's also no secret that a mistake or a shortcoming is never too small or too insignificant to avoid criticism; that's the flora and fauna of the press. The press creates most of the drama seen in the papers, heard on the radio, and viewed on television. But here's what happens when a writer puts himself in the middle of the story and turns the critical eye on himself.

It is unusual, yet fascinating, that Joe Cowley, the Chicago Sun-Times' beat writer for the White Sox, was willing to back up his written attacks on Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski. Cowley admits to "dogging" Pierzynski for his 16.2 percent success rate in throwing out base runners in the '07 season and wants to put his writer's shoe on "the other foot." In his segment entitled Joe, Meet Pro, Cowley readily steps out of the press box and onto the baseball diamond during this year's Spring Training to pin his words against A.J.'s right arm.

What is so unique about Cowley's approach is that he, as a writer who is prone to berate players for not performing up to a set standard, is willing to relinquish his title of "executioner" and take on the figure that was so often a target of his consistently harsh words. A stretch or not, this would be apropos to an impatient customer trying to go behind the cash register and handle the pressure of a busy holiday shopping surge. Sure, scanning items doesn't seem so difficult, but it becomes a real venture when the customer becomes the cashier and assumes the added pressure to make a greater number of sales than to create fewer customer complaints.

Despite the fact he is 39 years old and out of game-ready shape, Cowley still was confident he could be safe on at least five of the ten attempts he would have against Pierzynski. I mean, if A.J. only threw out 16.2 percent of all runners last year, what's to say a moderately out-of-shape, and moderately over-the-hill sportswriter couldn't get at least 50 percent on a slipshod catcher?

Well, the video Cowley provided of his sad attempt to steal a base is all the evidence needed. (Warning: The 11-minute video is not that exciting, but offers some interesting commentary by Pierzynski and Cowley). Starting off 0 for 5, Cowley relinquishes all contol to Pierzynski. After two controversial "safe" calls, Cowley ends up going 2 for 10 (in his mind), but after official review of the replays, he is never safe once. At the 9:00 mark, Cowley utters, short-winded, "It was a good idea on paper."

Sure was, Joe.

At the 9:39 mark, Pierzynski snidely comments, "[You] officially figured it out it ain't that ******* easy." Cowley's response, between large gasps for air, appears to be a white flag:"I belong in the press box where I am right now," he said.

The whole stunt was effective as it showed that the players are meant to play the game and the sportswriters are meant to stick to their words. As admirable as it was for Cowley to bring his criticism to the baseball diamond and to go against Pierzynski's arm, I think most would agree he had no chance at out-running a major league arm. However, if Pierzynski were to try to file a story on deadline or try to implement his best interviewing tactics, it would be safe to assume he would meet the similar failing marks of Cowley. But he doesn't claim to be able to, so he is safe for now.

The press box exists to hold players accountable and to let them know when they are not performing up to their fans' expectations. When the writers try to leave the press box and enter the game off the bench, it becomes clear why the writers write and the players play. Writers should be critical of the players that are covered, but they should think twice the next time they play judge and jury to harp on an overthrown ball, dropped pass, or errant shot; it ain't that ******* easy.

Write on!

Scheduling Conflict

The 2008 NFL schedule was released yesterday and the Bears PR department better be quick to act on this new slogan for the upcoming season: "It's Prime Time!" With 5 night games (Nov. 30 at Minnesota is subject to NBC's flex scheduling) and Mr. Prime-Time himself, Devin Hester, still returning kicks (and maybe catching passes, and who knows, maybe even lining up at safety), the Bears are primed to get some attention. Some of it, maybe all of it, will be negative, but they are in a position to be noticed regardless.

The Chicago Tribune's David Haugh is anything but optimistic about the Bears schedule. Haugh believes it is fitting that the Bears will play 8 games against the NFC and AFC South divisions since that is "the direction the arrow at Halas Hall seems to be pointing for 2008." With no significant moves to bolster a dilapidated O-line, no significant replacements for the Bears top two WRs from last season (a loud-mouth, Brandon Lloyd, and a creaky, yet dependable ex-Bear, Marty Booker), and no significant improvements in the trajectory of contract talks with the all-city, all-pro linebacker Brian Urlacher, the Bears are nowhere close to being significantly primed for victory. The clogged toilet is still jammed, and no calls to a plumber have been made. Apparently a team that went 7-9 last season and struggled with just about every facet of the game doesn't need renovations. Right...

I think Steve Rosenbloom is on point when he pegs the Bears in at a sadly realistic 4 wins. He sums it up perfectly when he writes, "That'll teach the networks to give five prime-time slots to a team that tells us Cedric Benson is special." Flush goes the toilet; down go the Bears.

The Tribune "experts" made predictions on the season: 6-10 was the grimmest; 9-7 was in a three-way tie for being the loftiest expectation. At that rate, we may eventually become a top ten team--in the 2009 NFL Draft. There's no doubt a growing sense of mediocrity is festering in Chicago as the media predict the Monsters of the Midway to settle in at the midway point of the power rankings.

However, Haugh sees a silver (okay, maybe bronze) lining in all of the scheduling woes. The Bears begin the season with two consecutive road games which will give them a chance to avoid the boo-birds and single-digit salutes that were all too common last year as the QB circle game continued to spin. Without the added distraction of a hostile home crowd and a pressuring media blitz, Haugh believes Orton and Grossman will have a chance to battle for the starting position without much friction against two formidable foes on the road - Sept 7 @ Indy and Sept 14 @ Carolina. But will it really matter who captains the (sinking?) ship after an 0-2 start? I'm pulling for Chris Leak.

Sun-Times' writer Brad Biggs gives the reader a more surface-level, insightful preview to the Bears schedule. He notes that the Bears were one of only eight teams to receive the maximum five prime-time games, and are the only non-playoff team to do so. Whereas Haugh claims this is true solely because of Devin Hester and the Chicago skyline, Biggs claims that "the NFL and network executives seem to be counting on a turnaround." Although Haugh is cautiously optimistic about the 2-game road trip to begin the season (the first since 2003 and only the third time since the AFL-NFL merger in 1970), he fails to mention what Biggs does: Only TWO of the Bears road opponents (the Colts and the Packers) had winning records in 2007. It might not be so bad after all. The Bears can only play who's on their schedule. But at what level is the biggest question mark.

"Most of the teams on [the] schedule got better," Haugh writes, whereas the Bears "really haven't." In Chicago, since the Jordan Era, the bar has been set pretty low for preseason expectations for most of our teams. That is why I like the fact Haugh is rather critical of the Bears chances to be victorious this year; anything better than the 6-10 prediction he makes will be welcomed in a town known best for its Lovable Losers.

Get'cha popcorn ready, folks!

Fun and Unnecessary Facts About the Bears Schedule

Fore!

Tiger Woods draws a story. Tiger Woods in a major tournament draws an attractive story. Tiger Woods in a major tournament played in Augusta, Georgia, draws an even more attractive story. But Tiger Woods losing in said major is the biggest story possible to be written. Right?

What is the story, though, one may wonder. Let's begin on January 4, 2008, in an article on Tiger's official website, an article that highlights Tiger's accomplishments and paints a rosy picture for the upcoming 2008 season. In a comparison of Tiger's 2000 campaign in which he won 3 of 4 majors and 9 total PGA tournaments to his 2007 campaign in which he won 1 major and 7 total PGA tournaments, Woods realizes his need for a continued consistency for future success. Looking ahead to 2008 and the possibility of a Grand Slam (winning all four majors in one year), Tiger states, "I think it's easily within reason."

Taking a step back, that statement, albeit bold, doesn't seem too obtuse. Here's a golfer with a career .290 win percentage (61 wins in 221 tournaments entered not including European Tour victories), a golfer who has only missed five cuts in his entire career, a golfer who has won 13 majors, and a golfer who has earned the title of the world's first billionaire athlete. Not too shabby of a guy to make the claim that winning four tournaments in a season is "easily within reason."

But according to Jay Mariotti, vociferous and uber-opinionated Chicago Sun-Times columnist, Tiger's runner-up finish this past Sunday at the Masters was the ultimate gaffe in light of his comments made back in January. In his April 14 column, Mariotti begins by defining Tiger's loss as a "piece of history we should tell the grandkids about." He assigns a value beyond rational thought to a 3-shot deficit and 2nd-place finish in the Masters. Mariotti calls Woods's victory talk "fantastically presumptuous" and "gloriously wrong," making it seem like Woods made a statement as bold and as daring as Anthony Stewart did when he "guaranteed" victory before his Steelers were to take on the then undefeated, 12-0, Patriots.

By throwing Woods under the steamroller, Mariotti essentially paints Woods as a prophet without a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Come on, Jay, this was simply a confident statement from a proven golfer with a track record doused with W's and dollar signs.  For Mariotti to state, "there was no reason" for Tiger to say what he said is outlandish. I can cite even more staggering numbers to back Tiger's thoughts made over three months ago, but I'm sure throughout the remainder of the 2008 season, Woods will give plenty of fodder for Mariotti to fill his mouth. Not to mention the four wins he already has this season in only SIX tournaments prior to the Masters.

Mariotti waits until the ninth paragraph to even make mention of Trevor Immelman, the winner of the Masters. Lost in the extreme, off-putting, Tiger-centric language of Mariotti is the story of a cancer scare survivor (it was fortunately just a benign tumor attached to his rib cage), a protégé of Gary Player, a "hard-working, vintage-swinging" South African, and a golfer that happened to be the only Masters champion since 1976 to lead the tournament after all four rounds. Instead of waxing moralistic about Tiger's "Grand Sham," Mariotti should have done himself a favor and chilled out and focused on the results at hand. 

Yes, people make mistakes. Yes, people with superb athletic talents and a propensity for victory make mistakes. And yes, people can be proven wrong. But Mariotti can't let that go. He needs to ruffle feathers. That's what he gets paid to do.

Mr. Mariotti can't, or probably doesn't, want to see through to the fact that Tiger was the only player to finish in second place. Sure, he probably could have drained a few more putts (he made what looked like a 75-foot putt for birdie on No. 11 Sunday to give life to a too-little-too-late comeback) and chips. But for Mariotti to claim, "If only he [Woods] had putted better than you and I at the miniature-golf course…he would have been positioned to seize late misadventures by Immelman," is beyond rational comprehension. No other golfer on the course seemed to be making many putts; the "Sunday" pin placements were brutal and the greens broke in ways that even a course designer could not plot on a schematic. Regardless, I'm so sure Mariotti made par this past Sunday at the local mini-golf establishment, which is something Tiger can claim to have done at Augusta National after a final round 72.

Mariotti makes his living offering opinions. Tiger makes his living playing golf. When Tiger offers an honest thought about the state of his game and the potential for many wins, one single loss, no matter how damaging to the original claim, should never meet the undue scrutiny offered here by Mariotti.  I'd just love to see Jay try to do what Tiger does for a living. Scratch that, I'd just like to see him try and get it through the windmill. This attack on Tiger was a double bogey at best.

Best Line: "What in the name of Jean Van de Velde was he [Immelman] doing on No. 16, aiming for the flag on the par-3 hole and paying for his decision by splashing his ball in the water." A well-executed reference to Jean Van de Velde, famous for his implosion at the 1999 British Open when he rolled up his pants and took off his socks to attempt a shot near water. He ended up blowing a 3-stroke lead on the 18th hole and eventually lost in a 3-way playoff.

Worst Line: "While we applaud him [Woods] for manufacturing drama that otherwise wouldn't have existed in April, do note that unkept promises usually aren't part of a sports legend's resume." Ok, give the guy a break. He's the best golfer in the world, and will go down as the best in history. One minor, non-committal statement should not define Woods's legacy. Let his game continue to do the talking, Jay. You seem to know a lot about that.

First Pitch

And we're off:

Welcome to the theatre of war that is Chicago, Illinois. A city where you can’t bleed Cubby Blue if you have just an inkling of the South Side Pride; where you can’t shop at CVS when there’s a Walgreens on every corner; where Da Bears and the Pack need no excuses to be cold with one another; where the Bulls bruise it up with the Motor City Bad Boys; where deep dish pizza and hot dogs battle for gastronomic supremacy; where orange signs and phantom construction crews wage war with rush hour commuters; where Capone and Bugs Moran shot off in a costly turf war over who was the boss; where you can’t read the Sun Times and the Trib.

But that’s exactly what I intend to do. Chicago is a city based on fierce rivals and strong opinions and nowhere are these two more evident than in the local Sports sections. From Mariotti to Morrissey, from back to front, I intend to showcase what went right and what went wrong with the competing coverages of each paper. A wise professor once told me, “Opinions are like assholes. Every one has one and they all stink.” I hope mine smell like Garrett’s popcorn and not like the I-90/94 corridor near Gary. Either way, Chicagoans, here’s what I want—no, need—to say about those smiling faces on the pages of your sports sections.